well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
