in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
