so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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