Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
