his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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