She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
