i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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