It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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