Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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