either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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