Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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