My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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