My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
