What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
