On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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