I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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