'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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