Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
