everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
