Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
