My first STD was from a foam party
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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