I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
