i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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