I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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