was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
