Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i think im in europe. pls send help
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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