I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
