She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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