Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
