my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
