The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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