Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize