i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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