I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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