Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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