omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my being single is dangerous.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
