If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
