note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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