yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
