Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
