I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
