I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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