my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
