Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
