Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he puts the penis in happiness.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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