Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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