I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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