Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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