im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
