It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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