I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
