There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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