You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
