he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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