I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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