The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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